Bringing hope to those in need through Islam and life.
"... For those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out. And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion." Surah at-Talaq, 65:2-3
I've been away for a good reason. Allah SWT accepted our duas and granted me and my husband a beautiful baby boy! I have named him Yahya. I got the inspiration for the name after reading the first few ayas of Surah Maryam. I truly flet the miracle of the Qur'an as Allah was telling me in my heart that I would have a child soon. Allah only has to say 'Be' and it is done. SubhanAllah.
Another miracle was that I carried him to 37 weeks despite having diabetes for 25 years and had a natural birth. So, all those sisters out there - never give up on Allah SWT. If I can do it then so can you!!
Please make dua for Yahya, me, my husband and all the Muslims.
There she goes – bold, bright and wonderful! You wouldn’t have thought but the world’s her oyster Pressure, what pressure! She is like a fly on the wall A Nutcracker hijabi!
Her feelings guide her day and night The feelings are her life Feelings are what make the world right
She swishes her hijab at those critics Throws her thinking cap on and flys, flys, flys She is invincible! Oh, I wish I could be like her!
She is changing the World Look at her ideas, imagination and creative thinking People’s attitude will not stop her get to the top, top, top
Things are getting tight, the deadlines are mounting up And what? Last minute assignment She has the confidence, she knows how to pass
She can stand strong when all else fails When the support and encouragement has gone astray She finds, the love, praise and connection from others in her life
She is coached and mentored – Part of the ingredients of a successful life Helping others, supporting the weak is all part of her greater good Look! Can you see her confidence flowing?
She will reach the top She will keep flying She can’t be broken not by you, her or I!
I moved into my new home last week! I wasn’t feeling very well which ironically helped me to move in. I’ve been worrying about this transition for sometime because of my mum. We are very close and we have found it hard to go through such a change (see previous post).
The house is spacious and well sized. The only problem is the lack of hot water. Alhamdula. Unfortunately it will cost an arm and a leg to correct such a problem as the council won’t pay to have this done. I feel kind of cross that the Housing Officer didn’t advice on such a problem as it would have put in us in a better position to decide whether we wanted the flat. I’m slightly apprehensive of complaining as I’m grateful to Allah SWT for granting me a lovely flat and at least I have some hot water coming through. May Allah forgive me for complaining! Also, I feel that since I don’t, as yet, have a secure tenancy I may be causing unnecessary tension with the Housing Officer. I was raring to go with a letter on why they should install a shower system for us!! Sometimes, I get this feeling of injustice and it hurts to the point where I have lots of ideas flowing for arguments I can put forward coupled with me scoffing down chocolate. The worst this feeling of injustice gets is the point where I can’t sleep. I also have neighbours who like to complain. I have to admit it was my fault for allowing DYI to happen quite late at night and now I feel like the ASBO neighbour lol. (ASBO is an order issued by the Courts, which put legal restrictions on someone, i.e. no noise after 6pm and so on. If breached, it could mean eviction or criminal proceedings.) InshaAllah, it won’t get that far!!! I’ve started tiptoeing around the house.
I’m also trying to get used to all the smells. There is this annoyingly dodgy smell in the hall way and I can’s seem to isolate who or what is the culprit. It could be coming from the carpets or wooden floors. I can’t quite work it out. I’ve sprayed air fresheners until I almost fainted!! I will beat this even if it causes me another dizzy act. LOL
My husband’s been very good at finding lovely things for the flat. MashaAllah. We are trying to make it as Islamically friendly as possible. Avoiding pictures especially of animals and people. I would love to have as much barak in the house as possible. InshaAllah my best friend and her family will come over and give me the thumbs up! Allah SWT has blessed me so much since returning from Hajj that InshaAllah it continues. May Allah bless you ALL.
Surah 19 - Maryam (This is) a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His slave Zakariya (Zachariah). When he called out his Lord (Allah) a call in secret, Saying: "My Lord! Indeed my bones have grown feeble, and grey hair has spread on my head, And I have never been unblest in my invocation to You, O my Lord! "And Verily! I fear my relatives after me, since my wife is barren. So give me from Yourself an heir, "Who shall inherit me, and inherit (also) the posterity of Ya'qub (Jacob) (inheritance of the religious knowledge and Prophethood, not the wealth, etc.). And make him, my Lord, one with whom You are Well-pleased!". Allah said) "O Zakariya (Zachariah)! Verily, We give you the glad tidings of a son, His name will be Yahya (John). We have given that name to none before (him)." He said: "My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age." He said: "So (it will be). Your Lord says; It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing!" [Zakariya (Zachariah)] said: "My Lord! Appoint for me a sign." He said: "Your sign is that you shall not speak unto mankind for three nights, though having no bodily defect." Then he came out to his people from Al-Mihrab (a praying place or a private room, etc.), he told them by signs to glorify Allah's Praises in the morning and in the afternoon. It was said to his son): "O Yahya (John)! Hold fast the Scripture [the Taurat (Torah)]." And We gave him wisdom while yet a child. And (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy (or a grant) from Us, and pure from sins [i.e. Yahya (John)] and he was righteous, And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither an arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents). And Salamun (peace) be on him the day he was born, the day he dies, and the day he will be raised up to life (again)! (Surah 19, Verses 2 – 15)
SubhanaAllah, What a beautiful Ayat! For all those brothers and sisters going through the heartache of conceiving this is definitely a sign of hope. It is Allah’s will that decides whether we have a child or not. Not medical problems, society or infertility. This is not to say that one shouldn’t exhaust all halah methods of trying to conceive like IVF. InshaAllah, if we are meant to have a child then it will happen. Miracles do happen – Look at Zakariya and his barren, old wife. Apparently, I’ve been advised she was 99 years old!
This has been a hard issue for me because I’ve wanted a child for so long. (Please see previous posts). Recently, I’ve found out a colleague at work and two aunts are pregnant. I felt happy for them and thought about what a wonderful gift bestowed on them by Allah, the Generous. I struggled with the knowledge that some didn’t expect the pregnancy or that it didn’t take long for them to conceive. A child is a gift from Allah the Almighty and they bring their own baraka (rewards). My aunt is struggling financially and subhanaAllah the foetus through Allah SWT brought some money in via my cousin (who doesn’t do this thing often). May Allah reward her for her efforts.
When I found out the pregnancy of these ladies, I struggled with my own need for a child. The idea that there must be something biologically wrong with me coupled with the desperation to fix it. I wanted to join their club. I wanted to be pregnant too. A possible solution could have been metformin. This is prescribed to some diabetics to help them conceive. The statistics are promising but unfortunately I haven’t been able to tolerate these tablets. I’ve recently been given the liquid version of metformin. I only took it once and I slightly struggled with it. It wasn’t as bad as the tablets. However, I have put this on hold until I get further medical advice.
Yahya is a symbol for all of us. It’s a sign of Allah SWT almighty power and the gifts he can bestow on who ever he wishes. However, sabr is keen with the understanding that certain things are beyond our wisdom. That is Allah knows best. As I was travelling to work, all I kept thinking was I need to listen to Surah Maryam. When I switched on the IPod and read the Ayat above, the tears started flowing out. Then the release emerged. It felt so good. Allah gave me hope in my heart. InshaAllah if it is meant to be then no medical problem or anything else (i.e. psychological), which could be stopping conception, can prevent Allah SWT from grant you or me a child. I also recommend getting a copy of Sisters Magazine with the article “Barren but blessed”. It is a moving, touching real life story of a sister’s struggle to have a baby. This has also kept me going because she says towards the end of the article (apologies for spoiling it for those that like to find things out for themselves) that she is so happy Allah SWT didn’t give her her own child as adoption gave her something better. SubhanaAllah.
Please make dua for all those struggling with fertility including me!
The hardest part of moving out is leaving my mum. Fortunately, I will only be down the road from her but it’s not the same. We’ve helped each through the good, the bad and the ugly! I suppose a real test of any relationship is how you handle the difficult times and my mum has always been my rock. My mum has seen me make some bad decisions and not judged me for it and then with the usual cakes, chocolate, crisps and ribena we have celebrated the high times. I think both my mum and I are more like sisters than mother and daughter.
Sometimes the roles have been reversed where I have taken charge like a mother especially when she was diagnosed with diabetes. My mum has always had the spirit of a fighter but this has withered over the years with her health. What comforts both of us is knowing that Allah SWT only tests the one he loves and I know Allah the Greatest loves my mum.
My mother is a beautiful lady with fair complexion. She is constantly been mistaken for being a French revert! MashaAllah. My mum loves to say I look like her but I don’t; I look like her more like my dad who has a dark, typical Saudi complexion. (My dad is very lucky to have a beautiful all rounded wife.) However, these comments are typical of my mum who sees the best in me and my brothers and sisters and yes in that way I’m more like her.
She has always welcomed people in a loving manner and encouraged me to help others. I remember when my mum was struggling financial and instead of crying and feeling depressed, she went to social services and asked for help. She didn’t want to see her kids without the basics. I asked my mum the other day whether she thought it would be ridiculous of me to shave off all my hair. (I wasn’t going to do the Britney thing, just a joke, although I’ve been told that if one shaves off their hair it will grow back stronger and thicker but I’m not willing to test that theory. Anyone tried it or anyone willing to test this theory?) My mum responded by advising me that I could do anything that made me happy. My brother quickly butted it and told me to behave! I believe that for a person who came into the UK knowing no English, having no friends or family for support and raising 5 kids then Jinna is InshaAllah the only place for her. As Allah SWT says “Jinna is underneath the mother’s feet”. InshaAllah I can take away the qualities my mum gave to me for my own children InshaAllah. It’s been a pleasure my beautiful mother. XOXOXO
I haven’t paid much attention to my blog since I got back from Hajj. I’ve been feeling spiritually uplifted and organising various tasks in my life.
I have some good news. I’ve got a flat! Alhamdulliah, Allah the Alighty has granted both my husband and I a wonderful 1 bedroom flat. The rent is reasonable and hubby is using all his time to decorate. He loves it and we are both happy. JazakAllah khair to all your duas.
There are lots of things I want to buy and have decided to go for a beige and chocolate brown theme with a twist of white, black and cream. The bedroom is green and yellow. I re-did the original colours of the bedroom, as I wanted to express my colourful side in one of the rooms. These colours seemed the best. I think I need to buy some useful boxes or cupboards to create room for all my clothes and bits and bob. Not much storage or general space so any advice? I ended buying a few abayas over the weekend. My sister recommended a shop, which sells beautiful abayas, and fortunately the sister was having a sale. I couldn’t resist. I spent more money than I should have!! Could have bought tables and chairs with it but I’m also trying to make an effort to feel and look gorgeous. I need to go and put some highlights in my hair! I used to go to the hair dresses every 8 weeks or when I felt depressed. Used to make me feel good for a few days but it never solved any problems. I was hoping naïvely, new hair- new life. How wrong was I?! Well, it felt like a good start for a bit and then the problems crept back in and the red highlights didn’t give me any inspiration on how to overcome them. If anything, they made me more silly! LOL
The next few months will probably be the most testing. InshaAllah, I will be starting IVF. I had the consultation with the doctor and I agreed with my husband I was ready to start the procedure asap. It’s going to be both an exciting and stressful time. The whole procedure will take 6 weeks. Please make dua that it’ll be successful!
Also, I’ve successfully applied for a new job! SubhanaAllah the baraka of Hajj has brought so many wonderful things. All the praise and thanks belong to Allah SWT. Allah the Almighty is so wonderful, caring and merciful. When one sabrs, one does get the reward from Allah SWT. I’m really happy with this new opportunity and InshaAllah, I will be doing policy work which should challenge me in new skills. Ameen. Please thank Allah in your duas for giving me and you all the rewards of life. I will of course do the same.
Hajj is a pilgrimage a Muslim person takes once in their lifetime. It is the largest annual pilgrimage in the world. It is the fifth pillar of Islam, an obligation that must be carried out at least once in our lifetime by every able-bodied Muslim who can afford to do so. It is a demonstration of the solidarity of the Muslim people, and our submission to Allah.
The Hajj is associated with the life of Prophet Muhammed peace and blessing be upon him (PBUH), but the ritual of pilgrimage to Makkah stretches back to the time of Ibrahim and Isma'il. Pilgrims join processions of hundreds of thousands of people, who simultaneously converge on Makkah for the week of the Hajj, and perform a series of rituals. As part of the Hajj, each person walks counter-clockwise seven times around the Kaaba, the cube-shaped building which acts as the Muslim direction of prayer (qibla); runs back and forth between the hills of Al-Safa and Al-Marwah; drinks from the Zamzam Well; goes to the plains of Mount Arafat to stand in vigil; and Jamara (throws stones in a ritual Stoning of Satan). The pilgrims then shave their heads, perform an animal sacrifice, and celebrate the three day global festival of Eid al-Adha.
Both my husband and I wanted to take this trip of a life time while we were still young. Given my diabetes, I didn't think it would be fair on myself and Allah to wait until it was either too late or my body wouldn't allow me to complete all the rituals. Also, the journey would allow me to be spiritually closer to the Almighty, rid my sins, bless my marriage and help me start a new chapter in my life. I had the idea of Hajj instilled in my head for about three years thanks to my best friend. May Allah reward her. I was waiting for my husband and the right time to take this journey and it came. All the highest praise and thanks belong to Almighty Allah. Honestly, as I write this blog, I still can't believe I took this amazing journey. Alhamdula.
About three million pilgrims participated in this year’s pilgrimage. The Saudi government invested millions to accommodate us all and I have to say they did a brilliant job! We were received with open arms and given food parcels at various stops. This warmth rippled with my group who were from all over the world. We were like a mini version of the rest of the millions that had flocked for Hajj. This mix helped to form new bonds, encourage team work, patience and importantly we were able to support the weak and elderly.
The group leaders advised on various tours including visiting the graves of the Prophet Mohammed’s (PBUH) companions. However, I was anxious to see the Ka’ba. I had to keep pinching and reassuring myself that I was in Saudi Arabia about to take the same path as the Prophet (PBUH) did. I kept thinking maybe this isn’t my time and someone was going to tell me to get back on the plane!! I remember on the coach trying my best not to see the Ka’ba because I wanted my first look to be special. I believed the Ka’ba was taller than the Masjid Al Haram (Mosque where the Ka’ba is located) but, when I approached the Ka’ba I was greeted by the magnificent Masjid and had to enter the centre of it to see the Ka’ba. It was amazing! Even though the Masjid surrounded the Ka’ba, its stature overshadowed the mosque. I took a step back and contemplated. I felt my heart fill with love for Allah, peace and closeness to the Almighty.
My next big challenge was the Jamara. My family and some protective Iraqi ladies didn't want me to do the Jamara. They all believed that because I'm a diabetic, I would end being killed by completing this act. I understood their fear especially as so many unnecessary deaths occured here but wanted to prove to myself, them and importantly my love for Allah SWT. Nothing was going to stop me! The Jamara is usually packed with a lot of people who get very excited about this ritual and rightly so. The Jamara marks Ibrahim’s belief in Allah by throwing the stones at Satan when he tried to stop Ibrahim sacrificing his son for Allah. It symbolises ones belief in one Allah and overcoming ones internal battle especially with Satan. I honestly thought, I was going to die at the Jamara. I made peace with the idea of death as I felt spiritually uplifted and ready to see Allah in Paradise. So, when the moment came to throw the seven stones, I felt this huge burst of emotional energy. I cannot describe the feeling but I felt my spirit lift which helped me complete each act perfectly of throwing the stones within Jamara. Trust me; I failed at all ball games!! I then felt cleansed. A sense of peace washed over me. I wanted to cry but kept my emotions in check in front of my group! For the first time in my life, I experienced true inner peace.
The day of Arafat is considered the most important day of Hajj. It was filled with togetherness by everyone supplicating to Allah. I had all my books ready and found a spot in my tent to concentrate on Allah. I had a terrible hypo (low blood sugar) which forced me to lay down for most of Arafat. But Allah SWT still made it easy for me as I was able to do my supplications. I was also comforted and supported by ladies within my tent and my husband ensuring all my needs were taken care of. Alhamdula. My whole body felt at ease because it was naturally doing what it was born to do. Worship Allah. I laid down on the carpet and was fortunate enough to be next to a gap in between the carpets to feel the sand beneath me. It was too hot to go to the Mountain of Arafat and the sand allowed me to connect to Allah by contemplating on his sublime creations. The day seemed to go so quickly and as the heat subsided I was able to join others outside our tents and watch the sun go down as if into the mountains. The colours - red, orange, yellow and purple were amazingly floating next to each other. It was if they symbolised this equality amongst differences. I used the opportunity to join others in making further supplication to Allah. I still had this sense of peace which grew further in Arafat. It was wonderful to see everyone joined in prayers especially as they were all peaceful and tranquil. We were all equal, rich and poor, young and old, black and white. All the men were wearing their Ihram (two pieces of white cloth) and the women dressed in simple abayas. I’m not sure of anywhere else or any situation where people are so equal, together and peaceful especially in the sight of Allah?!
SubhanAllah, Allah made this journey easy for me and my husband in the sense that the ZamZam water stabilised my blood sugars and I didn't feel tired walking from Mina to Makkah. Allah also brought a special lady into my life who I shared emotions and experiences with especially when things got low (which alhamdula was very rare). It was an amazing experience. Life-changing. Made my problems, worries and day to day life feel unimportant. I felt like I was in my natural habitat, doing what I was born to do. When one lets go and does what their natural being was created for it then all falls into place and the peace comes swiping in. I was ready to come back home with this peace and to spread it to others.
The big step is to maintain the goodness of Hajj. Keep my slate as clean as possible. I'm trying to hold on to the peace and avoid the cinema and TV. This is going to be a bit tricky as I have used them too often as a form of escape. InshaAllah, I become a better person.
I made many realisations from Hajj:
1. Turn to Allah as only Allah can help you. Make 2 raka's and read the Qur'an especially when you are down. 2. Never have doubt that your duas during Hajj have not been accepted. 3. Create a prayer space and try to pray with people in your house. 4. Read daily the Qur'an and books on our beloved Prophet (PBUH). 5. Read on the Prophets (PBUH) wives and then the caliph’s. 6. Always send your praises to the Prophet (PBUH), family and the companions. 7. Believe that everything has a reason. 8. Only love for the sake of Allah SWT. 9. Have sabr (patience). 10. 40 days after Hajj your duas are accepted.
InshaAllah, I'll try and remember some more.
I send my peace and blessing to our beloved Prophet (PBUH), his family and the companions.
May Allah accept my Hajj and that of all the Muslims. Please make dua!
May Allah forgive me if I have made any mistakes in this post.
I’ve been reflecting on issues facing me at work such as development, the people I work with and of course my manager!! I keep hoping that I will end up with a job that will better me, people who are absolutely fantastic, working with role model Muslimah’s and feeling constantly chilled but working hard. How wonderful would that be?
At the moment, I have a Muslim manager who is failing to practice the morals and kindness our deen teaches us. In particular, I wanted to mentor a sister to help her overcome challenges at work and develop her. Unfortunately, my manager rejected the idea on the basis that I may go against what they advice. For me, mentoring is not focusing on what a manager tells a person what to do or contradicting them but how best to fulfil their obligations of what they are supposed to do i.e. build and strength their existing skills.
My manager tests me in more ways than I can handle both mentally and emotionally. Our relationship has improved as of late but 1 step forward ends up being 10 steps back when they do things like refusing to allow me to mentor a sister. I’ve even tried to agree with them on a lot things but this has just ended up frustrating me and made me lose even more hope that I can ever bring some positive light in helping her change for the better.
I realised but only recently that they are a challenge from Allah SWT. For a few months, I have to say I was failing! My manager is not the easiest person to get along with especially as they lack communication skills, tact and emotion. There is a unanimous vote on this! I know they are not perfect but part of me believed whether naively or not that as a Muslim they would show more compassionate and support. How wrong was I?! Please see previous posts on my manager.
I’m at the point now, where I feel (but with some unease) that some Muslim people wish not to practice their deen or seek hasan by helping their fellow Muslim brothers and sisters especially at work. I got into a vicious circle of back biting about them and feeling almost hate towards them (astagfrAllah). Alhamula, this changed once I realised that Allah SWT was testing me. I was watching Islam Channel and a Sheika said that if we recognise that a test is from Allah SWT then we have half passed it and then we should thank Allah SWT for not testing our deen and not providing a bigger test i.e. losing your job!
I’ve tried to make peace with my manager but I still wouldn’t consider them a friend even though they confided in me that they have found a possible person to marry. My husband believes that they have a poor attitude and take it out on others because they need a spouse to fulfil their needs! May Allah SWT bless this possible union and make their spouse a person that will soften their heart. Ameen. I kind of feel awkward discussing such personal matters and going into deep conversation with them especially about the deen as I don’t feel comfortable around them. Once, they started shouting at me when we were discussing prayer times!! I realised that it would be better to keep silent especially on the deen as I don’t believe in shouting about it particularly as the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) discouraged such behaviour.
There have been a few issues I’ve had to manage but not always successfully. Its been a struggle trying to be the better person. It’s hard because they have made me cry and suffer unnecessarily. At one point, I wanted them to disappear but quickly realised that Allah SWT is with me and what goes around comes around. Also, my sister kindly reminded me that if you say a bad thing to a Muslim person then they will get your hasan. I want to keep mine! LOL. I suppose it’s a struggle we might all face especially when it comes to being a better person. I often remember my manager in prayers and wish not to make dua for them and this has been hard. I think (and maybe someone can advice) that if I made dua for that person who has caused me hardship then I may get a reward for it? My heart believes this is true but let me know what you think.
May Allah help me pass this test and grant me a better manager. Ameen. Please make dua for me.
I joined an Islamic Sunday class, which is intended for new Muslims, those interested in the deen or people who want to increase their knowledge of Islam. I’ve been attending the class on and off for about a year but the last few months I’ve been very good and been going quite regularly. The topics have been more interesting. Plus I wanted to seek the correct knowledge from a trusted Shaykh. I should add that it took a few months but I finally was able to get into flow of the Shaykh’s English. Poor thing, he was trying his best to make the lecture as fluent as possible but ended up getting himself caught up with complex words and his accent. Alhamdula, May Allah reward him – I am now able to pick up most of what he is saying.
The Shaykh has been fantastic in finding the middle ground on all topics especially hot issues like Suni and Shia. He said that we have no right to say one sect is right or wrong. That is up to Allah SWT but that we should remember to follow the Quran and Hadith and InshaAllah we will not go wrong.
I’ve always been able to collect useful tips and guidance about the deen like the Prophet (PBUH) encouraging people not to be proud or shy to ask questions! This has helped me realise that if the Prophet (PBUH) wanted us to do such acts then why should I stop myself putting this into practice in the deen and other aspects of my life!!! But practice makes perfect so, I am still working on this.
The class has a mixture of people and I love seeing the reverts or those interested in the deen attend. I especially love the fact that I get to see more than one new face attend the lessons. I’ve made some good friends and in particular had a wonderful surprise in this week’s class.
A young Asian lady had been attending the class wearing a hijab who I managed to have a few conversations with her. I of course automatically assumed she was Muslim and I had a wonderful surprise when she informed me that she was taking the Shahada. She said that the moment for her had come about in the class, literally there and then, when someone asked her if she was a Muslim. It told them straight out that she had the intention to take Shahada but wanted to do it when the time was right and that it was now. So, the moment was set for her and there was no stopping her. I and three other ladies sat next to her and the Shaykh asked her questions to ensure that she understood what she was doing and that she was ready. She was fluent and her answers convinced me! Then the amazing bit happened. The Shaykh started to ask her to pronoun the Shahada in Arabic. She was nervous, trembling. I could feel her nervous vibration, which set me off. I wanted to hold her hand but I didn’t want to stop her flow. When she said: “There is no god but Allah” that did it for me. It was as if I was taking the Shahada for the first time, like I was feeling Allah for the first time. It was amazing, overwhelming, spiritually uplifting and one tear managed to come out of my eye!!! The lady started crying and for me that confirmed her belief in Allah and that she was ready despite her worry that her family would react very badly. It also made me realise why I already thought she was a Muslim. She was already acting, talking and had an aura of a Muslimah. (Oh Allah, the feelings are flooding back as I write and my eyes are starting to fill up.) We were all caught up by the moment of spiritual bliss that we forgot to congratulate her until a man prompted us and we all took turns to kiss and cuddle her. She needed it and I could see that with sisters like this to support her then InshaAllah she would only grow. Also, despite being treated badly by Muslim prisoners and hearing awful stories on Islam, this proved that if one believes in Allah and wants to seek knowledge on Islam then if it is meant to be they will revert. There is no compulsion in religion just the right intention.
She told me that she was a Sikh and had heard terrible things about Islam until she met a man in prison who she had been giving career advice to. He helped her question her religion and the way her family practiced. She said that before this incident, it didn’t cross her mind to question what was the norm for her, what seemed right and practical. She explained that in her heart she only believed in one Allah and that she didn’t see the point of a priest being her pathway to Allah especially as they are human. Islam appealed to her but it took her sometime to take the Shahada because she couldn’t change what was haram about her lifestyle overnight. This is a classic problem, which unfortunately both non-Muslims and Muslims face alike. Alhamdullah, a revert lady helped her overcome this fear. It also gave me the opportunity to direct her to Aminah Assilmi. (Please see this fantastic video!) I informed her that this woman helped me realise why I needed to wear the hijab and the next day I wore it and alhamdula I’m still wearing to this day. Aminah explains that things need to be done “slowly, slowly” otherwise one will just become overwhelmed and go back to their old ways. InshaAllah it gave her some comfort. She still has a fantastic journey to take especially after she takes her bath and what the Shaykh called it “you will be like a brand new baby”. LOL
May Allah continue to guide this lady and many other Muslims, reverts or those interested in Islam to the straight path.
I have to admit I don’t handle constructive criticism very well. It’s one of those things that back dates to primary school.
Usually people react to criticism by avoiding it, taking it to heart or reacting aggressively to it. Criticism can be helpful if it is specific, acknowledges positives, is calm, to the point, doesn't stereotype or label people and is focused on a person's behaviour rather than an attack on the person. I tried to google for some tips on how to best handle such situations and this is what I call the good girl answer: Here are some tips to use criticism assertively: • Face and listen to criticism rather than avoid it. • Don't take it to heart. • React calmly and respect others rights, there is no point attacking the person. • Be prepared for constructive criticism. • See constructive criticism as useful to everyone concerned. Being open to constructive criticism can be tough at first. Remember, you too can make constructive criticism. This does not include blaming, put-downs or attempting to hurt someone to get what you want.
I read this a few times but it didn’t inspire confidence within me. I wanted a more cracking solution than the textbook answer.
When someone offers compliments first, and then goes on to point out the errors, likely as not, they are offering constructive criticism with good intentions. I believe that how to determine if the criticism is right or wrong is never take one person's criticism seriously, but take two or three of the same opinions more seriously. One person can be wrong, two people may be wrong, but if you hear the same criticism from three different people, you may want to pay attention. However, even in a situation where four people have the same criticism it doesn't necessarily mean they are right. Remember, the film "Titanic" was criticized harshly by several film critics.
Criticism should be viewed like a jury returning from deliberating in a criminal trial. When a criminal is accused of a crime, we don't put it in the hands of three jurors or even six. We put it in the hands of twelve.
However, there is a right and wrong way to criticise. Constructive criticism is given by someone who is honestly pointing out what they believe to be errors in an attempt to help you correct them. Destructive criticism is a blatant put-down with every intention of making you look bad. The key is to recognize the difference.
This is my first official fast for Ramadan. As a diabetic, I was told never to fast because it would make me ill. However, with development of DNA insulin this has meant that I am now able to fast.
Basically, insulin can be split into two. Background insulin, which covers sugars that the liver dumps, and quick acting insulin, which is used for carbohydrates that I eat. So, to fast I have to take my background and quick acting insulin at sahoor. It is important that I take my background insulin at set times so 4am and then again at 8pm in order to keep my sugars stabilised. I do not need to take any more insulin until Iftar. It is important that if you are a diabetic, you understand your illness and seek medical advice before fasting.
I had a few teasing problems with getting the right amount of insulin into my system which meant I haven’t been able to fast some of the first 15 days of Ramadan. I started having low blood sugars, which meant I had to break my fast otherwise Allah (SWT), would consider it to be invalid.
I’ve felt left out during Ramadan for the obvious reason that my diabetes wouldn’t allow me to fast. I wanted to feel that hunger, patience, experience what the poor go through, self-control and importantly being close to Allah (SWT). At one point, I felt a fraud because I found it hard to do 20 taraweh prayers even though my belly was full all day from enjoying all the wonderful food my parents prepared. Now that I more empowered myself with the knowledge of the deen, I believe that my illness was given to me for a reason especially in helping others who cannot afford insulin. I also realised that Allah (SWT) forgave me and others with illnesses especially to ease possible hardship. It is all about the intention and wanting to better oneself as a Muslim but without putting oneself in danger.
May Allah (SWT) make this Holy and best of all months a blessed one for all the Ummah. May Allah (SWT) accept everyone’s fast, prayers, duas, sadaqah and zakat. May Allah (SWT) make us stronger and better Muslims. May Allah (SWT) send us all to jina faradous. Ameen.
Can you see her? Glowing, shining, a breathe of fresh air Don't blink! One sight of her will illuminate the darkest of hearts Can you see her? Pink, green, blue and brown. They represent the shades of her fantastic aura Don't blink! Her beauty shines like a starry night and those that see her will know her light Can you see her? Kindness, love, books and thoughts. All part and parcel of a special soul Don't blink! You will miss that meaningful message which only she possesses Can you see her?
I’m bored out of my wits end and don’t have the confidence to take on extra work in case my manager abuses my honesty. I also get quite bored between 6 and 8pm. I really don’t want to start watching the Wonder Years with my sister (which starts at 7pm) because Kevin over analyse situations and I find the whole show rather depressing!! However, my sister sees the funny side of his dilemmas including being in love with his teacher, while my grandmother who doesn’t understand English thinks its all terrifying bad education especially when she sees Kevin looking at his teacher in a loving way. She then asks whether British education system encourages such behaviour and if we have fallen in love with our teachers? So, I’m thinking, Big Sis why don’t you do something worthwhile?
I’ve got a collection of books, which need to be read, however, I’m currently reading the Sealed Nector. I’m enjoying this book, which has made me cry, but I still can’t get into books. I feel that it takes me quite a lot to concentrate on a book because I analyse states and situations. It’s a habit, which leaves me reading a book for months! I’m not exaggerating, I started re-reading the Quran last Ramadan and I’m now on Surat 30. I don’t think I will finish the Quran to restart it for Ramadan. The irony of this is that I love being surrounded by books and their stories.
I think for me visualising something is more interesting and appealing than reading it. That’s probably why I love the cinema so much. However, I want my life to be more interesting than TV and cinema! I’m trying to take a new approach to life, career and ambitions and that is to question whether I’m doing something for others or myself. I want to be happy and content with my decision making process but I think this is a journey which will take more practice. So as I make those life decisions inshaAllah, I make them for the best.
As we have entered the Month of Shaban lots of thoughts are coming to my mind regarding how I can improve myself as a Muslimah and become closer to Allah. Shaban is an opportunity to prepare oneself for Ramadan. The Prophet (PBUH) used to fast all of Shaban. “I never saw the Messenger of Allah, fasting in a month so profusely as he did the month of Shaban. He used to fast in that month leaving only a few days, rather, he used to fast almost the whole of the month”. (Reported by Aisha RA).
I think the best place to start is to examine how you pray. Ensure that your wudu follows the proper etiquettes and that you are following the right procedures for praying. One can increase the amount of time spent reading the Qu’ran (i.e.10 minutes a day and then keep increasing it) and making dikka. There is a fantastic pocket size dua book called Fortress of a Muslim which has duas ranging from when you feel pain to when it rains which one can start using if they want to have wider knowledge of the kind of duas one can make especially during Ramadan.
Use the opportunity Shaban brings to seek more knowledge. If you haven’t read it, try and get a copy of the Sealed Nector, which is a biography of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) life and is critically acclaimed by scholars. Shaban is an opportunity to examine oneself and reflect on past mistakes. Don’t dwell too much on the mistakes but use this thought process as a way to move forward and stop them happening again inshaAllah. I suppose for me its about the small things like not wearing my hijab when opening the front door or uncontrollably judging someone for wearing tight clothes with hijab! InshaAllah, I will continue to try and stop myself from doing these things and remember that in particular that this sister may have a stronger imam than I do!
Night of Bara’ah or ‘the night of freedom from the fire’ falls on 15th day of Shaban; Allah (SWT) comes down to the lowest heaven and asks his servants –“Is there any person repenting so that I forgive him, and any person seeking provision so that I provide for him, and any person with distress so that I relieve him, and so on until dawn”. (Reported by IbnMajah) This is an opportunity to ask for forgiveness, make dua for good health, happiness and things you, your family and the Ummah needs in this life and the hereafter. This is a fantastic opportunity to revive the spirit and renew our closeness to Allah (SWT). May Allah accept your prayers, duas and intentions in this Holy Month.
I applied for a job as a Communication Manager to help me get away from my manager but more importantly to get me into a more challenging role. I didn’t want to get myself in a position where I wanted to fuss over my application but worked on a balancing my need not to stress vs making it a winning application.
I was content that I had produced a winning application. It seemed to tick all the right boxes and produce all the right answers. I waited weeks to hear the results of my application and on Friday 1st August I found out that I was unsuccessful. The reason being, I didn’t produce enough information on being a mentor and how I have helped myself improve within an organisation. What a joke! Alhamdula, the job was not meant for me as Allah has better plans for me.
A year ago, my attitude to this would have been I’m a failure or I should have got the job. It didn’t enter my psyche that Allah knows what is best for me. Something that we see is good maybe bad for us and something we see as bad maybe good for us. It’s a matter of putting things in Allah’s hands. I also believe that the feedback I received was not constructive in the sense that if there were valid problems with my application and areas I could have improved then they should have said so. However, it was like finding a needle in a haystack with all that unnecessary feedback. All I was reminded of was how articulate my application was but that didn’t really answer my question of how could I improve?
I suppose in light of all of this I’m happy that I received some positive feedback as I still have the determination to continue to find opportunities to climb the civil service ladder. I’ve decided not to complete my Law degree, as I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. Alhamdulliah, I believe that this decision is right for me and I m slowly become content with it. Plus an added bonus to this decision is that my stomach pains have become less frequent since I made this decision!!
I have been having infrequent discuss with a lady at work about goals in life. She is an intelligent, thoughtful, well-dressed pretty woman. She seems to ooze confidence and energy for life. I had this picture in my head of various achievements in her life like a degree, husband and well travelled. However, after a long discussion, she made me realise that appearances can be deceiving.
She had studied three years for a degree but had failed or dropped out due to difficult circumstances in her life. She explained that her father had died when she was young and her mother worked and brought up her, her brother and sister. She then went on to tell me she was 36 years old (I honestly believed she was 28) and had come to peace with not completing her degree. She expressed she was happy and content with her achievements but she could not hide the fact that there was something missing in her life. Maybe a husband? I dared not to ask!! She was brought as a Christian but was not practicing. She carried herself with respect, honesty, dignity and humility; qualities I believe are Islamic. However, what made her even more interesting was the fact that she had helped her mum to raise her brother and sister. She stills lives at home and it appeared to me that her mum is a strong source of comfort and love for her. Her mum gave her the freedom to go away to university but unfortunately that did not work out for her. I loved the fact that she was content with not going back to uni. She is proud of who she is and what she has achieved. I want this - InshaAllah! However, subhanAllah, she came into my life at time when I am struggling to make sense of my academic achievements. My current battle with whether I want to go to uni has been with me for seven years! The time has come for me to make a decision and I don’t want to defer for another year. For me, I believe it’s either now or never. I don’t want this decision to be the vane of my existence (I know, it is putting it strongly but unfortunately my emotions are running high on this subject). May Allah help me make the right decision.
I look back and I think back to all the things I have achieved compared to what I haven’t. I think the proudest moment of my academic life was representing my husband in Immigration Tribunal Court and finding out that I had won his case. Hooray! I want to hold on to these achievements regardless of whether I go back to uni or not.
I think the moral to this story is firstly, don’t judge a book by its cover, be happy and content with your life as Allah knows what’s best and even if you are 36, not married, no kids and no degree – just enjoy what you have in life and keep making achievable goals. I will try to put this into practice especially in analysing whether getting a degree is an achievable goal.
I have warned myself off from apologies for not doing my blog for sometime because I read somewhere that you shouldn’t! I half agree but I feel that since I want to help others than an apology is due to those who have been waiting for my next blog!!!
A lot has happened and this has left me with little time to write a blog and some of my vava voom has been sucked out of me to write something meaningful. However, the juices are following a moment and I’m going to talk about aspirations.
At the moment, I am trying to decide on whether to accept a place at university to study Law. I really am stuck! I am torn by my previous bad experience of studying mixed with the fear of not getting a First Class degree and pulled by the fact that I have work and family commitments. I realised the other day that I spent more time helping my mum with odd jobs than studying for my degree. I got into the classic trap of not saying ‘no’ and sacrificing my needs for that of others. Alhamdulliah, I realise this now and InshaAllah I can move forward from this. A big part of moving forward though will be me getting my own place with of course hubby! Please make dua.
I have been running around like a headless chicken trying to figure what I want to do with my life. My dad told me the other day that he was very happy I was going back to uni but thought I should have done that a long time ago!! I remember only yesterday him telling me that I should move on from the notion of uni. Nevermind! It’s these small little things that weigh me down and make my decision making process very hard. I’m like this child who either wants it one way or no way at all. For instance, my immediate reaction to my dad’s response is not to go to uni as I don’t want to do it for him and I don’t want him to put unnecessary pressure on me as he did before. The child within me needs to be understood and allowed to mature. However, I’m not quite sure how I’m going to go about this. Any psychologist/ physiotherapists out there?
Well, I need to make a decision soon as I need to enrol by October or maybe in two weeks. (Need to double check.) I believe that it would be great to do an assignment and get some wonderful feedback on it, to rediscover the law, meet new people (and make life long friends) and get my degree. Part of me believes that I will regret it if I don’t get my degree. I don’t want more regret in my life. I have enough of them. InshaAllah, I will go to uni this year. I’ve done my guidance prayer and I will leave the rest to Allah (SWT).
My best friend recommended that I try and find a way to release my blues but in a constructive manner. She suggested I should think more about my senses to see how best I could utilise them in order to feel less like throttling my manager and more like drawing a picture of butteries to release my misery energy. What’s yours? What senses do you use the most: Visual? Maybe it’s drawing or doodling? Aural? Maybe its music or singing or nasheeds. Is it sensual? Maybe it’s massage, breathing or meditation. However, my best friend’s advice came with a caution: She wouldn't recommend taste, as one could use it to substitute food for work because one can get so bored. This could then lead to health problems, as one is more likely to want a sugar fix than a fruit fix.
I may need to try a few things like writing more for my blog to see whether that really helps. I love chatting and getting things out. However, my manager does see eye to eye on me going off to chat to work colleagues even though I get my work done and it’s also important to have regular breaks away from my computer. Alhamdulliah.
I’ve been trying to finds in which to express myself constructively. I have thought about boxing (my brother has the whole gear at home.) I haven’t done it long enough to see if it works – However, it made me mad about people, which was not really getting me anywhere. I really want to join the gym. My husband laughs at me when I say that as last time I went which was 9 months ago I complained of so many pains that I never returned. Everyone, including my doctors keep telling me I need to exercise more! Well, I have a problem as last time I went to the gym, the male instructor kept touching my legs and arms to get me in the right positions for the routines but I didn’t have the confidence to tell him to get lost! It’s hard to find a gym near me that caters to Muslim women. There are some but that are too far away! I need to come up with a plan where I can attend my local gym and feel secure in the fact that I’m not jeopardise my security as a Muslim woman. Suggestions welcome.
At the moment, I am very much into films and restaurants (well the food in them!!). So maybe I can find my mojo through my visual and taste senses. I recently watched The Happening (Director M. Night Shyamalan of “Sixth Sense” and my personal favourite, “Signs”). I was kind of disappointed by the movie especially of generally what was happening to the people (I don’t want to spoil for those who may wish to see it). Also, it didn’t have the big revelation at the end which is what Shyamalan is good at. Shyamalan recently said in an interview that he was inspired by the film The Birds which basically uses the strategy of continuous tension and suspense to engage the audience but has no major revelation in the film. It basically meant to make people to pick up a popcorn and never put it down. A friend advised me to start doing reviews for films but for me that takes the joy of watching them. I don’t like the idea of analysing something in order to come up with a clever critical analyse of it. Also, I have this thing of seeing work as being a mundane task which if I started reviews would take the fun out of watching films. However, being the optimistic person that I am maybe I will become a film critic but for halah films.
Loveable, friendly, kind, speaks out for those in need, hijabi, hard working, sociable, honest, hopeful, family, confidence building, wanting to make positive changes and wants to make their mark in this life by helping others.
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