Baby, Where art thou?
13:33 Posted In Baby , Courage , Hope , Islam Edit This 21 Comments »
I’ve been thinking for a bit about what my next blog should be. I wanted it to be something meaningful and Inshallah to help others.
I’ve wanted kids since I was 16 years old. There are a few reasons for that. I love children especially babies. I love the idea of helping and watching a person who is half of you grow and Inshallah become a good Muslim who will help others. Also, being the eldest of 5 kids meant that I have matured a lot more quickly. So, the search was on to find my soulmate, other half! Alhamdula it took a few years and a second marriage before I could work on my dream.
I suffer from terrible period pains which I have tried almost everything under the sun to control except the pill. I remember once at school, I got my period in the middle of a lesson and the pain was so unbearable I had to ran to my Head teacher’s office but he was nowhere to be found. So, I collapsed on a desk outside his office and cried hoping someone would help me. I eventually got the permission to go and only Allah knows how I arrived home and my dad had to rush me to hospital as my stomach couldn’t hold down my medication. Oh the drama of my period pains!! Apparently Queen Victoria of Great Britain used to take cannabis to help control her period pains but I of course would not recommend it or use it! LOL You probably guessed it another reason for wanting kids is to put an end to these pains. Due to my bad period pains, I discovered that I had polycystic ovary syndrome which, affects 1 in 5 women. Most women get pregnant naturally but the rest need further help. Alhamdula. My grandmother; a wise and wonderful woman has told me for many years that as soon as I have a baby things will improve, pain wise, Inshallah. I believe her especially as she went through something similar and has delivered many babies herself so there is wisdom in her advice.
I had to do something about my periods so my gynaecologist started work in trying to discover why I had such bad period pains and whether this was going to affect my fertility. I had a few scans, blood tests, laparoscopy, and small burning of my ovaries to help simulate the production of follicles which contain the eggs. Alhamdula, the tests showed that there were no problems like endometriosis or blocked fallopian tubes. However, there was no explanation for the bad period pains. I was told that unfortunately there was nothing that could be done except taking the pill. So, I continue to battle with my period pains but with the help of powerful pain killers.
I tried naturally for a baby for a about a year but to no avail. So, my gynaecologist prescribed clomid tablets. Clomid tablets help to give the ovaries a boost by making them produce follicles and increase the hormones involved in ovulation. About 70% of women get pregnant on clomid. I had to take the tablets from day 2 to 6 of my period and by around day 12 or 14 I had to go into hospital for scans to track the number of follicles that I had produced that month. Unfortunately, the clomid hasn’t helped me ovulate and so I was prescribed ovutrelle. At first, I was on 50mg of clomid and produced 7-9 follicles. My husband was supposed to have cold showers to prevent multiple pregnancies but we didn’t take that advice as Allah would be the one to give me as many babies as I could handle. Plus there was no guarantee that I would become pregnant. I was adviced to take 25mg of clomid and have been producing 2-3 follicles. I’ve had 7 rounds of clomid and I’m on my last. I’m trying not to be sceptical to allow the last one to work. This slight scepticism has been borne out from the fact that my sister discovered a few days ago that the Mefenamic Acid tablets which I have been taking for a few years for my periods come with a warning and that it should not be taken if you are trying to get pregnant. Those damn doctors never told me that. I remember clearly being told that this would not affect my fertility in the long run but with closer examination of these words and my position at the time I’ve realised that this advice was only meant to help my pains while I was not trying for a baby. Alhamdula. However, this realisation doesn’t explain why the gynaecologist didn’t advice me to stop taken them. (Trust me I will be taking this up with them!) Ironically, I haven’t been that upset by this revelation as it could be a reason as to why I haven’t become pregnant. However, my last round of clomid may not work due to the Mefenamic Acid tablets I took this month. Well, Allah knows best and I believe in my heart that if Allah wants me to get pregnant then it will BE regardless of those Mefenamic Acid tablets in my system.
So far the process has not been too complicated. The only problem has been my impatient to get pregnant. A lot of people have advised me to stop thinking about it and I believe they are right. However, how do you do that? I’m constantly reminded of it by my family, friends, planning the pregnancy, taking the clomid, going to hospital and seeing a flood of pregnant women and generally reminding myself. It’s hard and I sincerely respect women who have struggled to get pregnant and have either been successful after many years or have been unsuccessful and found peace by it. A friend who is also a diabetic has similar problems with her period and had the mind set that she would try for a baby even if it took years. She ‘stopped’ thinking about the whole process and it quickly happened for her. Today, I went to see another friend and her new baby. It was wonderful seeing that tiny soul peacefully sleeping and her mother looking proudly and protectively at her. The desperation for a child started to overtake me and subhanallah I looked again at that child and Allah gave me peace.
Something that has comforted me is the Quran. Allah reminds me through Surah’s when the feeling of wanting a baby overwhelms me. He reminds me that He is the one that gives children and that the benefits and rewards of the afterlife are a whole lot better. Alhamdulillah. I also found peace by reading an article in the last issue of Sister Magazine – “Barren but Blessed”. The sister was unsuccessful in conceiving but Allah had a better plan for her and that was to adopt twin babies. She not only found peace by not conceiving but is happy that it never happened. What a woman! How great is Allah in all his plans.
Inshallah, this last round of clomid is successful. If not the next steps are more intrusive like IVF. Inshallah it doesn’t come to that. However, I’m grateful that Allah has instilled the medical knowledge into man of these treatments to give us a greater chance of conceiving. I pray that I can find the strength for me and anyone going through something similar to keep going, have sabr and importantly find peace in whatever path Allah has chosen for us. Please make dua for me and many thanks to the sisters that have supported me.
I’ve wanted kids since I was 16 years old. There are a few reasons for that. I love children especially babies. I love the idea of helping and watching a person who is half of you grow and Inshallah become a good Muslim who will help others. Also, being the eldest of 5 kids meant that I have matured a lot more quickly. So, the search was on to find my soulmate, other half! Alhamdula it took a few years and a second marriage before I could work on my dream.
I suffer from terrible period pains which I have tried almost everything under the sun to control except the pill. I remember once at school, I got my period in the middle of a lesson and the pain was so unbearable I had to ran to my Head teacher’s office but he was nowhere to be found. So, I collapsed on a desk outside his office and cried hoping someone would help me. I eventually got the permission to go and only Allah knows how I arrived home and my dad had to rush me to hospital as my stomach couldn’t hold down my medication. Oh the drama of my period pains!! Apparently Queen Victoria of Great Britain used to take cannabis to help control her period pains but I of course would not recommend it or use it! LOL You probably guessed it another reason for wanting kids is to put an end to these pains. Due to my bad period pains, I discovered that I had polycystic ovary syndrome which, affects 1 in 5 women. Most women get pregnant naturally but the rest need further help. Alhamdula. My grandmother; a wise and wonderful woman has told me for many years that as soon as I have a baby things will improve, pain wise, Inshallah. I believe her especially as she went through something similar and has delivered many babies herself so there is wisdom in her advice.
I had to do something about my periods so my gynaecologist started work in trying to discover why I had such bad period pains and whether this was going to affect my fertility. I had a few scans, blood tests, laparoscopy, and small burning of my ovaries to help simulate the production of follicles which contain the eggs. Alhamdula, the tests showed that there were no problems like endometriosis or blocked fallopian tubes. However, there was no explanation for the bad period pains. I was told that unfortunately there was nothing that could be done except taking the pill. So, I continue to battle with my period pains but with the help of powerful pain killers.
I tried naturally for a baby for a about a year but to no avail. So, my gynaecologist prescribed clomid tablets. Clomid tablets help to give the ovaries a boost by making them produce follicles and increase the hormones involved in ovulation. About 70% of women get pregnant on clomid. I had to take the tablets from day 2 to 6 of my period and by around day 12 or 14 I had to go into hospital for scans to track the number of follicles that I had produced that month. Unfortunately, the clomid hasn’t helped me ovulate and so I was prescribed ovutrelle. At first, I was on 50mg of clomid and produced 7-9 follicles. My husband was supposed to have cold showers to prevent multiple pregnancies but we didn’t take that advice as Allah would be the one to give me as many babies as I could handle. Plus there was no guarantee that I would become pregnant. I was adviced to take 25mg of clomid and have been producing 2-3 follicles. I’ve had 7 rounds of clomid and I’m on my last. I’m trying not to be sceptical to allow the last one to work. This slight scepticism has been borne out from the fact that my sister discovered a few days ago that the Mefenamic Acid tablets which I have been taking for a few years for my periods come with a warning and that it should not be taken if you are trying to get pregnant. Those damn doctors never told me that. I remember clearly being told that this would not affect my fertility in the long run but with closer examination of these words and my position at the time I’ve realised that this advice was only meant to help my pains while I was not trying for a baby. Alhamdula. However, this realisation doesn’t explain why the gynaecologist didn’t advice me to stop taken them. (Trust me I will be taking this up with them!) Ironically, I haven’t been that upset by this revelation as it could be a reason as to why I haven’t become pregnant. However, my last round of clomid may not work due to the Mefenamic Acid tablets I took this month. Well, Allah knows best and I believe in my heart that if Allah wants me to get pregnant then it will BE regardless of those Mefenamic Acid tablets in my system.
So far the process has not been too complicated. The only problem has been my impatient to get pregnant. A lot of people have advised me to stop thinking about it and I believe they are right. However, how do you do that? I’m constantly reminded of it by my family, friends, planning the pregnancy, taking the clomid, going to hospital and seeing a flood of pregnant women and generally reminding myself. It’s hard and I sincerely respect women who have struggled to get pregnant and have either been successful after many years or have been unsuccessful and found peace by it. A friend who is also a diabetic has similar problems with her period and had the mind set that she would try for a baby even if it took years. She ‘stopped’ thinking about the whole process and it quickly happened for her. Today, I went to see another friend and her new baby. It was wonderful seeing that tiny soul peacefully sleeping and her mother looking proudly and protectively at her. The desperation for a child started to overtake me and subhanallah I looked again at that child and Allah gave me peace.
Something that has comforted me is the Quran. Allah reminds me through Surah’s when the feeling of wanting a baby overwhelms me. He reminds me that He is the one that gives children and that the benefits and rewards of the afterlife are a whole lot better. Alhamdulillah. I also found peace by reading an article in the last issue of Sister Magazine – “Barren but Blessed”. The sister was unsuccessful in conceiving but Allah had a better plan for her and that was to adopt twin babies. She not only found peace by not conceiving but is happy that it never happened. What a woman! How great is Allah in all his plans.
Inshallah, this last round of clomid is successful. If not the next steps are more intrusive like IVF. Inshallah it doesn’t come to that. However, I’m grateful that Allah has instilled the medical knowledge into man of these treatments to give us a greater chance of conceiving. I pray that I can find the strength for me and anyone going through something similar to keep going, have sabr and importantly find peace in whatever path Allah has chosen for us. Please make dua for me and many thanks to the sisters that have supported me.
