Sister's Big Plan

She has always welcomed people in a loving manner and encouraged me to help others. I remember when my mum was struggling financial and instead of crying and feeling depressed, she went to social services and asked for help. She didn’t want to see her kids without the basics. I asked my mum the other day whether she thought it would be ridiculous of me to shave off all my hair. (I wasn’t going to do the Britney thing, just a joke, although I’ve been told that if one shaves off their hair it will grow back stronger and thicker but I’m not willing to test that theory. Anyone tried it or anyone willing to test this theory?) My mum responded by advising me that I could do anything that made me happy. My brother quickly butted it and told me to behave! I believe that for a person who came into the UK knowing no English, having no friends or family for support and raising 5 kids then Jinna is InshaAllah the only place for her. As Allah SWT says “Jinna is underneath the mother’s feet”. InshaAllah I can take away the qualities my mum gave to me for my own children InshaAllah. It’s been a pleasure my beautiful mother. XOXOXO

My little princess.

Hajj is a pilgrimage a Muslim person takes once in their lifetime. It is the largest annual pilgrimage in the world. It is the fifth pillar of Islam, an obligation that must be carried out at least once in our lifetime by every able-bodied Muslim who can afford to do so. It is a demonstration of the solidarity of the Muslim people, and our submission to Allah.

The Hajj is associated with the life of Prophet Muhammed peace and blessing be upon him (PBUH), but the ritual of pilgrimage to Makkah stretches back to the time of Ibrahim and Isma'il. Pilgrims join processions of hundreds of thousands of people, who simultaneously converge on Makkah for the week of the Hajj, and perform a series of rituals. As part of the Hajj, each person walks counter-clockwise seven times around the Kaaba, the cube-shaped building which acts as the Muslim direction of prayer (qibla); runs back and forth between the hills of Al-Safa and Al-Marwah; drinks from the Zamzam Well; goes to the plains of Mount Arafat to stand in vigil; and Jamara (throws stones in a ritual Stoning of Satan). The pilgrims then shave their heads, perform an animal sacrifice, and celebrate the three day global festival of Eid al-Adha.

Both my husband and I wanted to take this trip of a life time while we were still young. Given my diabetes, I didn't think it would be fair on myself and Allah to wait until it was either too late or my body wouldn't allow me to complete all the rituals. Also, the journey would allow me to be spiritually closer to the Almighty, rid my sins, bless my marriage and help me start a new chapter in my life. I had the idea of Hajj instilled in my head for about three years thanks to my best friend. May Allah reward her. I was waiting for my husband and the right time to take this journey and it came. All the highest praise and thanks belong to Almighty Allah. Honestly, as I write this blog, I still can't believe I took this amazing journey. Alhamdula.

About three million pilgrims participated in this year’s pilgrimage. The Saudi government invested millions to accommodate us all and I have to say they did a brilliant job! We were received with open arms and given food parcels at various stops. This warmth rippled with my group who were from all over the world. We were like a mini version of the rest of the millions that had flocked for Hajj. This mix helped to form new bonds, encourage team work, patience and importantly we were able to support the weak and elderly.

The group leaders advised on various tours including visiting the graves of the Prophet Mohammed’s (PBUH) companions. However, I was anxious to see the Ka’ba. I had to keep pinching and reassuring myself that I was in Saudi Arabia about to take the same path as the Prophet (PBUH) did. I kept thinking maybe this isn’t my time and someone was going to tell me to get back on the plane!! I remember on the coach trying my best not to see the Ka’ba because I wanted my first look to be special. I believed the Ka’ba was taller than the Masjid Al Haram (Mosque where the Ka’ba is located) but, when I approached the Ka’ba I was greeted by the magnificent Masjid and had to enter the centre of it to see the Ka’ba. It was amazing! Even though the Masjid surrounded the Ka’ba, its stature overshadowed the mosque. I took a step back and contemplated. I felt my heart fill with love for Allah, peace and closeness to the Almighty.

My next big challenge was the Jamara. My family and some protective Iraqi ladies didn't want me to do the Jamara. They all believed that because I'm a diabetic, I would end being killed by completing this act. I understood their fear especially as so many unnecessary deaths occured here but wanted to prove to myself, them and importantly my love for Allah SWT. Nothing was going to stop me! The Jamara is usually packed with a lot of people who get very excited about this ritual and rightly so. The Jamara marks Ibrahim’s belief in Allah by throwing the stones at Satan when he tried to stop Ibrahim sacrificing his son for Allah. It symbolises ones belief in one Allah and overcoming ones internal battle especially with Satan. I honestly thought, I was going to die at the Jamara. I made peace with the idea of death as I felt spiritually uplifted and ready to see Allah in Paradise. So, when the moment came to throw the seven stones, I felt this huge burst of emotional energy. I cannot describe the feeling but I felt my spirit lift which helped me complete each act perfectly of throwing the stones within Jamara. Trust me; I failed at all ball games!! I then felt cleansed. A sense of peace washed over me. I wanted to cry but kept my emotions in check in front of my group! For the first time in my life, I experienced true inner peace.

The day of Arafat is considered the most important day of Hajj. It was filled with togetherness by everyone supplicating to Allah. I had all my books ready and found a spot in my tent to concentrate on Allah. I had a terrible hypo (low blood sugar) which forced me to lay down for most of Arafat. But Allah SWT still made it easy for me as I was able to do my supplications. I was also comforted and supported by ladies within my tent and my husband ensuring all my needs were taken care of. Alhamdula. My whole body felt at ease because it was naturally doing what it was born to do. Worship Allah. I laid down on the carpet and was fortunate enough to be next to a gap in between the carpets to feel the sand beneath me. It was too hot to go to the Mountain of Arafat and the sand allowed me to connect to Allah by contemplating on his sublime creations. The day seemed to go so quickly and as the heat subsided I was able to join others outside our tents and watch the sun go down as if into the mountains. The colours - red, orange, yellow and purple were amazingly floating next to each other. It was if they symbolised this equality amongst differences. I used the opportunity to join others in making further supplication to Allah. I still had this sense of peace which grew further in Arafat. It was wonderful to see everyone joined in prayers especially as they were all peaceful and tranquil. We were all equal, rich and poor, young and old, black and white. All the men were wearing their Ihram (two pieces of white cloth) and the women dressed in simple abayas. I’m not sure of anywhere else or any situation where people are so equal, together and peaceful especially in the sight of Allah?!

SubhanAllah, Allah made this journey easy for me and my husband in the sense that the ZamZam water stabilised my blood sugars and I didn't feel tired walking from Mina to Makkah. Allah also brought a special lady into my life who I shared emotions and experiences with especially when things got low (which alhamdula was very rare). It was an amazing experience. Life-changing. Made my problems, worries and day to day life feel unimportant. I felt like I was in my natural habitat, doing what I was born to do. When one lets go and does what their natural being was created for it then all falls into place and the peace comes swiping in. I was ready to come back home with this peace and to spread it to others.

The big step is to maintain the goodness of Hajj. Keep my slate as clean as possible. I'm trying to hold on to the peace and avoid the cinema and TV. This is going to be a bit tricky as I have used them too often as a form of escape. InshaAllah, I become a better person.

I made many realisations from Hajj:

1. Turn to Allah as only Allah can help you. Make 2 raka's and read the Qur'an especially when you are down.
2. Never have doubt that your duas during Hajj have not been accepted.
3. Create a prayer space and try to pray with people in your house.
4. Read daily the Qur'an and books on our beloved Prophet (PBUH).
5. Read on the Prophets (PBUH) wives and then the caliph’s.
6. Always send your praises to the Prophet (PBUH), family and the companions.
7. Believe that everything has a reason.
8. Only love for the sake of Allah SWT.
9. Have sabr (patience).
10. 40 days after Hajj your duas are accepted.

InshaAllah, I'll try and remember some more.

I send my peace and blessing to our beloved Prophet (PBUH), his family and the companions.

May Allah accept my Hajj and that of all the Muslims. Please make dua!

May Allah forgive me if I have made any mistakes in this post.

Reading, writing, arithmetic's - The starting talents to greater things

We need maps and plans - a sense of direction to build that way

Keep it alive, big and wonderful. Who cares what they say!

Shout it on the roof tops, tell the other half, and buy a promotional slot on TV

Hear it just hear that dream come alive

Mohammed (PBUH), Dr King, Nelson Mandela, Barak Obama and Marian Williamson to name but a few

Let’s learn and make our mark in the world

They will say it's ridiculous, they will say you're mad

But who will have the last laugh when the millions roll your way

Frustration belongs to loser

As at times it will be hard, crazy and hopeless

Let the tears roll down

Get the support

Destroy that stress - Laugh, pray, listen or visualise - bang, bang, bang its gone!

Keep your family, friends and supporters near and positive energy killers afar

30 years in the making and the success is yours!

Believe in me, you and I

Come on I dare you, DREAM!!

I joined an Islamic Sunday class, which is intended for new Muslims, those interested in the deen or people who want to increase their knowledge of Islam. I’ve been attending the class on and off for about a year but the last few months I’ve been very good and been going quite regularly. The topics have been more interesting. Plus I wanted to seek the correct knowledge from a trusted Shaykh. I should add that it took a few months but I finally was able to get into flow of the Shaykh’s English. Poor thing, he was trying his best to make the lecture as fluent as possible but ended up getting himself caught up with complex words and his accent. Alhamdula, May Allah reward him – I am now able to pick up most of what he is saying.

The Shaykh has been fantastic in finding the middle ground on all topics especially hot issues like Suni and Shia. He said that we have no right to say one sect is right or wrong. That is up to Allah SWT but that we should remember to follow the Quran and Hadith and InshaAllah we will not go wrong.

I’ve always been able to collect useful tips and guidance about the deen like the Prophet (PBUH) encouraging people not to be proud or shy to ask questions! This has helped me realise that if the Prophet (PBUH) wanted us to do such acts then why should I stop myself putting this into practice in the deen and other aspects of my life!!! But practice makes perfect so, I am still working on this.

The class has a mixture of people and I love seeing the reverts or those interested in the deen attend. I especially love the fact that I get to see more than one new face attend the lessons. I’ve made some good friends and in particular had a wonderful surprise in this week’s class.

A young Asian lady had been attending the class wearing a hijab who I managed to have a few conversations with her. I of course automatically assumed she was Muslim and I had a wonderful surprise when she informed me that she was taking the Shahada. She said that the moment for her had come about in the class, literally there and then, when someone asked her if she was a Muslim. It told them straight out that she had the intention to take Shahada but wanted to do it when the time was right and that it was now. So, the moment was set for her and there was no stopping her. I and three other ladies sat next to her and the Shaykh asked her questions to ensure that she understood what she was doing and that she was ready. She was fluent and her answers convinced me! Then the amazing bit happened. The Shaykh started to ask her to pronoun the Shahada in Arabic. She was nervous, trembling. I could feel her nervous vibration, which set me off. I wanted to hold her hand but I didn’t want to stop her flow. When she said: “There is no god but Allah” that did it for me. It was as if I was taking the Shahada for the first time, like I was feeling Allah for the first time. It was amazing, overwhelming, spiritually uplifting and one tear managed to come out of my eye!!! The lady started crying and for me that confirmed her belief in Allah and that she was ready despite her worry that her family would react very badly. It also made me realise why I already thought she was a Muslim. She was already acting, talking and had an aura of a Muslimah. (Oh Allah, the feelings are flooding back as I write and my eyes are starting to fill up.) We were all caught up by the moment of spiritual bliss that we forgot to congratulate her until a man prompted us and we all took turns to kiss and cuddle her. She needed it and I could see that with sisters like this to support her then InshaAllah she would only grow. Also, despite being treated badly by Muslim prisoners and hearing awful stories on Islam, this proved that if one believes in Allah and wants to seek knowledge on Islam then if it is meant to be they will revert. There is no compulsion in religion just the right intention.

She told me that she was a Sikh and had heard terrible things about Islam until she met a man in prison who she had been giving career advice to. He helped her question her religion and the way her family practiced. She said that before this incident, it didn’t cross her mind to question what was the norm for her, what seemed right and practical. She explained that in her heart she only believed in one Allah and that she didn’t see the point of a priest being her pathway to Allah especially as they are human. Islam appealed to her but it took her sometime to take the Shahada because she couldn’t change what was haram about her lifestyle overnight. This is a classic problem, which unfortunately both non-Muslims and Muslims face alike. Alhamdullah, a revert lady helped her overcome this fear. It also gave me the opportunity to direct her to Aminah Assilmi. (Please see this fantastic video!) I informed her that this woman helped me realise why I needed to wear the hijab and the next day I wore it and alhamdula I’m still wearing to this day. Aminah explains that things need to be done “slowly, slowly” otherwise one will just become overwhelmed and go back to their old ways. InshaAllah it gave her some comfort. She still has a fantastic journey to take especially after she takes her bath and what the Shaykh called it “you will be like a brand new baby”. LOL

May Allah continue to guide this lady and many other Muslims, reverts or those interested in Islam to the straight path.